Bullying is another difficulty that many children may experience. Bullying can be both physical or emotional.
- Physical – a child, or group of children, hitting another or inflicting some sort of physical pain on them.
- Emotional – a child being called names, told they are fat or ugly, useless, worthless, and so on.
And now also there is cyberbullying, where the internet, social media, texting and mobile phones have led to children being picked on and bullied from afar.
Around one in ten secondary school children are bullied. Around one in twenty are bullied every week. There are many different educational and government policies that try to reduce bullying, but bullying can be covert. Pushing or hitting another child when no one is looking. Mouthing names at them, starting malicious rumours about them through a social media website, and so on.
Bullying is a big problem. Hundreds and thousands of children experience bullying. Bullying is when a person is picked on over and over again by an individual or a group of people with more power. Their power can be because they are physically stronger or have higher emotional standing.
Children are mainly bullied because of their:
- Appearance – because of how they look, how they act, if they are shy or withdrawn.
- Social status – if they don’t fit in - their religion, race, their sexuality.
Bullies can attack others physically, sexually and verbally or simply by ignoring them. Bullying can make people feel depressed, stressed, anxious, or to have low-esteem, and it may also cause them to experience mental health problems. They may experience thoughts of suicide.
On the other side of the coin, bullies are also at risk of developing problems. Bullying is violence and can lead to more violent behaviour as the bully grows. It is thought that a quarter of primary school bullies will have a criminal record by the time they are thirty. They may lose friends and end up being rejected by their peers. They are also more likely to fail at school and not get the career or relationship success that others enjoy.
The reasons behind bullying include:
- Low self-esteem
- Feelings of powerlessness
- Fear of being left out
- Taking out their angry feelings
- Culture of aggression and bullying
- Being bullied themselves
- Being abused at home
- Lack of strong relationships with parents
Bullying is now more prevalent than ever, particularly with cyberbullying. With cyberbullying the bullying can occur in the victim's own home, as well as at school. The victim can be targeted 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
Cyberbullying has resulted in suicides and attempted suicides. Studies from Nottingham Trent University have found that around a third of children are being cyberbullied.
“There have been suicides and attempted suicides as a result. It's a real problem - and the most common risk faced by young people today is online." In fact, 'Bully Online' estimates that every year 16 children in the UK alone take their own lives as a result of bullying.
So how do parents deal with a situation where their child is being bullied? The parents should always listen to the child and try to find out how seriously it is affecting the child. The child must always feel that they are being listened to. Sometimes they may have had an argument with a friend and it is a one-off. But if this behaviour continues, it can become bullying. The parents should then support the child and talk to the school confidentially. The school may be aware of issues, a history of unhappiness, time taken off school and so on. The staff can then help the parents work towards a solution within the school. They will often perform an investigation to find out what the problems are.
But what if your child is the one doing the bullying? The parents can probably expect the child to deny this at first, to say it is the other person’s fault. But someone’s child will be the one doing the bullying, bullies exist and they are someone’s children. The parents may also need to speak to the school, suggest ways to tackle the situation. Perhaps they have become involved in bullying because of their friends who are also bullied. Could they be removed from that group? Could there be other sanctions, such as detention, coming straight home, being grounded and so on? The parents and school can come to a united front to deal with the child’s bullying behaviour.
Making all teachers in the school aware of the bullying also helps, as does having school meetings and inviting the parents of the bullied child and the bully along to discuss resolutions.
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